I'm so so so tired. It took me 2 weeks just to muster up enough energy to sit at the keyboard and type. I thought Angela was really nice because she drove me to the Day of Caring but now I realize that she is physical activity crazy. I tried to talk with Erin about the company she keeps, but she ignored me, like always.
Here's how the other weekend went down:
We were all talking about going and hanging out on the weekend and Erin wanted to go canoeing and Chris wanted to go hiking. So Angela suggested we compromise and climb a mountain and THEN go canoeing all in ONE afternoon. So we first planned to go climb Rattlesnake Mountain. Ummm...does anyone one else see what could go wrong. I mean sheep and rattlesnakes don't get along very well. And well...while we are on the subject, sheep and mountains don't really get along well either. Do I look like a goat!? But Erin tossed Chris and me in the car and we were off despite my major objections. We picked up Angela and VJ and drove to the mountain.
At the base of the mountain was a map to show you how poorly they planned the trail. Don't they know that the fastest way to get from one point to another is a straight line?
Do you see where the elevator is?
Ok, I must admit climbing the mountain wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. We even found some walking sticks and were having a great time.
Bring on Mount Everest!It was all great until Erin told us that we only walked 2 minutes and it was going to take about 2 hours to get up the mountain and back. She also pointed out that she had carried Chris and I for about a minute and a half of that time. 2 HOURS! forget that. Chris and I made a run for it and made it back to the car. So Angela, VJ, and Erin had to turn back. (Erin scolded us in front of Angela and VJ but then whispered that we would all get an extra scoop of ice cream later.)
So we were off to the go canoeing. Which sounded like a lot of fun. But it soon turned to scary watching those uncoordinated humans try to board the canoe. I didn't even get a life jacket. I just knew we were going to all drown with the lack of balance they all had. It was clear that us sheep would have to take charge. So we sat on the bow and yelled at the humans to tell them when to row.
Row! Row! Row!I think we could have been on the Olympic rowing team. Well, at least Chris and I could. Those other people should just stick to watching the experts on TV. Of course, Erin soon told us to shut up and just enjoy the view. So we turned around and screamed whenever they got close to rowing into anything.
Watch out for that tree on the left.
Erin said we reminded her of Hyacinth Bucket. And well VJ said he couldn't handle it anymore. And he threatened to throw us overboard. YES HE DID! He is a big meanie. We even got proof this time as Erin was messing with the camera and accidentally put it on video record without realizing it. (Although there isn't much Erin does that she realizes.) Here is the footage of the crime, see for yourselves how mean VJ is.
When we threatened to call the police, VJ got scared. And all of a sudden we found ourselves stranded on a log in the middle of the raging white rapids. The canoe was rowing away really fast and I was got really scared...I mean...Chris was really scared and started to cry. So I yelled at the humans to come back and we would behave.
Come back! We'll be good sheep! PROMISE!After a little negotiation between us sheep and VJ, we got to come back on board. But we made sure either Erin or Angela was between us and VJ from then on.
We rowed a little furthered and then we made some new friends. Nice friends. The ducks seemed very nice and lazy. They were just floating in the water. Our kind for friends.
Rubber Ducky, your the one...
But by that time we were really really hungry. So we decided to stop canoeing and go eat. We got yummy pizza.
Nummy
After supper Chris and I ran off to talk while Angela, VJ, and Erin sorted out the bill. We had a long conversation. I mean really long, like a whole minute. We talked about about how Angela was making us do impossible physical activist and how VJ tried to abandoned us on a log. But then we though of how Justin makes us go to the gym. And we remembered that one time when Mikey put me in a ziplock bag and took me to the boob factory. So in reality, these new friends were just as unstable as Erin's other friends. Really it seems that these acts are what human friends do to each other. So I guess Angela and VJ are really good friends. At least good by human standards. But I am still going to hide next time they all talk about us going to play in the wilderness. Humans are crazy.
D.J. as Shawn the Sheep
