Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Welcome to the Prowling Sheep

Welcome to the Sheep Prowling Blog. You have haphazardly stumbled upon what is, or will be, a collection of stories about a flock of Serta sheep and their companions. Many of the entries will be posted by the individual sheep as they tell their harrowing tales of adventures throughout the wild blue yonder. Occasionally, the narrator will step in to clarify things as necessary. This being one such case. I pity the fool who reads a sheep entry without some background info.

The first issue we should probably address is just what will be on this blog, which corresponds with what is the significance of Prowling Sheep. Well as any sane sheep knows one can not be all work and no play. These sheep work very hard, but thankfully they also play equally hard. The Prowling Sheep Blog is a chronicling of their various trips and leisure activities.

So know that we've discussed the purpose behind the blog, what other questions do you have? I suspect at least some of you out there are wondering just how did these sheep all come together to form this flock. Which is closely followed by just how many mattresses do you folks own, and just what do you use them all for. As it plays out only 1.5 of the sheep were adopted through the conventional mattress purchase program, the .5 sheep will be explained during the relevant sheep introduction. The rest have been adopted via various methods, one even was brought to us in a bubble wrap uterus...bet you can't wait for that picture. So why all the sheep you ask. Well the story will become more clear as each sheep describes their individual characteristics, but in general the purpose of the sheep is to serve as therapists. Not only are sheep soft and cuddly, but they are quite adept at talking even the most crazed grad student off a ledge.

We (the adopters) are an interesting bunch and so we apologize for any oddities you find in the entries. One thing we have gone to great lengths to assure is that the sheep remain sexless. You see despite our vast backgrounds (medical school, growing up on farms) we have not been able to identify the sex of the sheep. They haven't produced babies for us, do not feel the need to relieve themselves, and in general seem to draw some pride in not revealing this detail to us. For this reason the sheep have all been given asexual names so we didn't have to worry about insulting them, we patiently await like you folks do to see if one of the sheep slips up in its narrative and reveals this information. Until then we will continue going to therapy to solve one of our many complexes. Hmm, wonder if there might be a conflict in interest there...our therapists are giving us complexes...we just might have to talk this one through with them.

Without further ado we shall commence on introducing the team of therapists to you all. I would name them all for you here, except the flock is currently under expansion. They are even looking for a "herding" dog to join the group. I can't really imagine what they expect it to herd, as none of these sheep would even dream of letting some inferior canine have control over their lives. At least they don't let us homo sapiens have any say in things. It should be an interesting story to hear just what role the dog will play within the flock. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, sheep and whatever else, we are pleased to introduce the flock...

12 comments:

Erin said...

Oooo....sheep on the prowl. I can't wait to see what they all do.

John said...

Sounds like the poor pooch will have his paws full with this crazy group.

Justin said...

Nah, it'll probably be the other way around. The sheep will have to train to dog to be presentable in public. Dogs are so uncouth always liking themselves, smelling inappropriately. Sheep must be far more refined than any silly dog

Erin said...

Yeah I hate it when dogs or anyone likes themselves. Esp. in public! Stupid schools trying to get rid of low self-esteem. What is this world coming to?

Justin said...

Yeah well this world is all messed up. One would think improved self-esteem is a good thing, but yet it seems to get a lot of people into trouble. We just need to teach people to be realistic. You can't always have everything

Justin said...

Yeah I'm deficient and probably forgot a pair of quotations in setting up the link. So here is what it was supposed to link to:

http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/08/brains-or-inter.html

Justin said...

Hmm, so not my day today. So forget it. Its a link to the Dilbert blog about Intelligence and Sex. Really it was just meant to goad Erin on about IQ. I'm sure the rambling will come soon enough

Erin said...

Wow, Justin you must be getting a lot!

Here is a link that works.

http://tinyurl.com/28qknn

Ug...I am soo lonely! You can have 10 of my IQ points. They don't mean shit.

mikey said...

Erin i didn't knew you had 10 points.

Erin said...

I'll 10 point you!

Justin said...

You're a 10 pt

Erin said...

Yeah, I know I have a nice rack.