Thursday, December 20, 2007
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Before we got to Atlanta we stopped at the touristy place in Peachtree City. Peachtree Lake was in Sweet Home Alabama and is a great place to sunbath!
We got into the car and drove to Atlanta. It was really crowded because there was a big football game on. And then we ran into a parade. It was the Atlanta Christmas Parade. It was lots of fun. Good thing we wore our warm hats while standing outside.
Ok enough parade, we are on a mission. We wanted to see the New World of Coca Cola.
Hehe, inside the Coke place we snuck past the "do not pass bar" to get closer to the exhibit. What? We are small, we need to be close to see.
It was lots of fun at the New World of Coke but we enjoyed the cool beverages at the end best. All except the Beverly. That one is gross!
Okay, now for the CNN tour. We got our tickets and are standing in line. But the rest is a secret. Shh!!! No pictures in the studio please.
We would be great news reporters. Don't you think?
Ok then we went home and watched movies. It was a great day. We like visitors. They like us...we hope.
Friday, December 7, 2007
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Many of you may know I live with Beth, what probably has not been mentioned is that we also live with her roommate, her roommate’s boyfriend (he doesn’t ACTUALLY live here, but might as well) and their delightful cat, Haley. Ok, actually the cat was fairly nice when we both moved in, calm, cute, would sometimes even come cuddle with me on Beth’s chair when she wasn’t there. Now that Haley is older, she meows loudly and wakes me up every day at 6:50 am AND shreds every stack of paper or cardboard she can find and makes a mess all over the living room that I get blamed for! I realize some of the flock is mischievous, but honestly, what would I be making paper confetti for and what use would it be all over the floor? Ugg, anyway. Beth was going back home for a whole week for Thanksgiving. She said I could stay here or go home with her. Since I didn’t want to be on my own with that darn cat all week, I decided to go with Beth - little did I know then the terror that awaited.
Beth’s house was fine, lots more room than the apartment to roam around or hang out and take a nap or watch TV; anything a sheep like myself might like to do. It was perfect, except for…Euclid. I didn’t think it was possible, but Beth’s dad’s dog is even WORSE than Haley. To his credit, he did have the decency to wait until 7:00 am to bark incessantly and wake me up, but he continued the whole entire day. All day, every day, for an entire week! It’s more than this poor kid can handle. As Elliot would say, “Oy vey!”
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
We got it all figured out and then we paid for it. Even got a receipt. The postal lady was going to let us ride in the mail cart but other customers came in. So she had to help them. Knew we should have had Jesse guard the door.
Then it was time to go back to Georgia. Iowa is fun but Georgia is where we don't get mugged and stolen every day. We had a present waiting for us in the mailbox. It came "Royal Mail" We must be special. We were so excited. Erin wouldn't let us in the house until we calmed down. She though we might piddle on the carpet.
Ok FINALLY Erin put the camera down and helped us open the package. Again with those opposable thumb issues. But we got it open!!! I would have used my braces if I had too. And look we got new head gear. Hats for everyone! Well most everyone.
We also got a CD but Erin can't get her Real Player to work. Ug...silly humans. But the gifts are awesome!!! THANKS MARTY AND JEREMY!! The rest of you sheep...Erin says she will get you your hats so you can play in the cold and snow soon.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
However, what I am about to tell you is worthy of a post. I’ve been doing some serious research during the days here, since I’ve finished watching all of Preston’s DVDs. I’ve encountered more than one website dedicated to animals that aren’t sheep and I am outraged that there aren’t sites like these for us sheep.
Let me start out with www.petfinder.com. This is an overall decent website. However, no sheep are available for adoption. Therefore, I am giving this site the new “Oy vey! Not OK!” stamp.
The next disgusts me. Head on over to www.cattv.com and you will find a website catered completely to cats. There is event a feature that has little birds, bees, and who knows what other nonsense moving around the page so the cats can “have something to play with.” Well what about us sheep, huh? Where’s the virtual sheers? Oy vey! Not OK!”
And finally we have www.doggiewoggie.com. This is one of the worst sites I have ever seen. Definitely an Oy vey! Not OK!
But all hope is not lost, my friends! Over at www.kiddyhouse.com/Farm/Sheep there is a ton of information about us sheep! Go check it out! OY VEY! WAY OK!
Monday, November 5, 2007
We just submitted the following pictures to the blog ‘HOLLYWOOD Where Hot Goes To Die’ at wherehotcomestodie.blogspot.com under The Pets of Christmas Contest. No jokes on the contest name. It is for a very broad range of participants, not all pets. But anyway it is a very good blog if you are interested in a good funny read. I mean next to ours of course.
Hand it over and no one gets melted! The true meaning of Christmas.
MUSH! Come on Jesse, put your back into it!
So what are you guys waiting for? Let’s see what other sheep can come up with. Come on all, start submitting your pictures to the contest. And post them on our blog too, of course. And let’s see who come out on top and who has to pick ass wool out of their teeth from being on the bottom. AND BREAK!
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
1) Drive Faster Justin, Faster:
Hmm, apparently when your flight leaves the airport at 5:30, you are supposed to arrive earlier than 5. Well, Justin forgot this and the nasty gate agent wasn't going to let us check in even though we only had carry on luggage. (Yes it was a travesty, but I managed it). I came to the rescue, showed a little muscle and convinced the gate agent his man hood was more important than giving us a hard time. So we get through security, walk up to the gate expecting a big line only to realize that its 5:10 and we still have 20 minutes and there isn't even a plane on the ground.
2) How does 5:30 = 6:00?
So much for that 5:30 departure. The plane doesn't land until 5:30 so we don't start boarding until 5:45 and don't close the cabin door until 6. Hmm, that layover in Denver is getting shorter. Who would have thought an hour and a half layover wouldn't be long enough.
3) Who thought it was so hard to get a little fluffing
Come to find out that the airplane was late because the APU unit is broken. That would explain why it was so hot in the cabin. It also means the plane can't take off on its own, it needs a little help getting "warmed" up. So the faithful crew at CID bring around the fluffer, but wait you mean fluffers don't like corn? Seems they put the wrong fuel into the fluffer. So off we go for a another one, but wait this is CID, how many other fluffers can there be.
4) I so enjoy sitting on the tarmac
So the plane got its fluffing, became all cooperative and we flew to Denver. We left CID 50 minutes late but that still left us 40 minutes in Denver. Dinner is off the table, but at least we'll make our destination and not have to spend the night in Denver. We touch down in Denver, start taxing and stop. Oh! no you don't!! We sit on the tarmac for 20 minutes. Apparently since we were late our gate was in use and they thought it best to punish us by sitting and making us wait for the other plane to push off.
5) What gate was that?
Alright off the plane and T-15 until the next plane leaves. What gate are we at, oh B91. You mean we are at the farest end of the airport and have two extra long hall ways between us and the rest of the B concourse. Sounds fishy if you ask me. But whatever, so what gate are we leaving out of B24. Oh crap, the B concourse only goes to B15. Could you make it any farther please. Apparently Justin runs or some crazy stuff like that. Two hallways and 4 moving sidewalks later we arrived at the gate to a very peeved looking attendant who doesn't even acknowledge that we (well Justin) is panting. Oh and for the maintenance man on moving side walk 2, sorry about your toes, but really the four of you sitting on both sides of the railing, you're lucky he only took out your toes. I personally was throwing fists a little bit higher.
6) We're here...hey why isn't the door opening
So we take off, fly, get really hungry and land in San Diego. Ok, get us off this plane and lets get somewhere to get our munchies on. Hmm, the seatbelt sign is off, but the flight attendants are not opening the door. What could be wrong, wait why is the jetway still 10 feet away. No way I'm letting Justin try and jump that with me on his back. Yeah apparently all the jetway drivers went home early or something stupid. Fifteen minutes later someone finally shows up and moves the jetway into position and we are free.
Such a nice view, boy was the sun nice that day
Well it was a fun trip. No complaints, but one request: next time we go through the Denver airport, can I ride in a litter. It was a little bumpy riding shotgun on the suitcase. Thanks.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Hi, I’m Quinn, lucky number 7! I’m new to the Flock, too. I first met up with Beth in
My job is to watch Beth and make sure she graduates. After that, I’m just here for companionship, unless she decides to go to grad school. I kind of hope she doesn’t for three reasons 1)I want my job of “graduation motivator” to be over once and for all 2)I read D.J.’s post about the boob factory and feel a similar experience would be traumatizing and 3)If she get’s a real job, then she’ll have more money to take me on vacations. When I’m not busy trying to get Beth to study or planning my next adventure I can usually be found scrapbooking vacation pictures and/or watching movies. Beth’s trying to get me interested in quilting too, but I think that’s TOO girly for me. I realize scrapbooking in general is kinda girly, but I want my vacation photos to look good.
Uh oh, looks like Beth wants to take a nap, I’d better go and make her do something productive.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
I took the little pischer, Preston, to find a job recently. Before we could leave the apartment, I had to give the kiddo a lesson in how to put on a tie. (See the picture. I decided to wear one for good luck)
He wasted tons of gas driving all over town looking for “Help Wanted” signs. Finally, he found one at a restaurant that’s not too far from where we live. He left me in the car, which I was not happy about, but he was nice enough to roll down the windows since it was so hot that day.
He didn’t want to talk about the details that went on inside for the interview, but I took it as a good sign when the manager gave him a menu to take home and look over. I’m guessing he just sat around and schmoozed for a bit but I didn’t want to pry. I was just happy to have the air conditioning turned back on.
A few days later, I was yelling Mazal Tov for the little pischer. He got the job and now spends lots of time away from the apartment. But I don’t mind. I have lots of time to sit around and critique his movie collection now.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
I really hope they post my submission. You see they very wisely have a policy asking people not to use animals as props in their images. However, clearly I am not a prop, but a well intentioned supporter of the cause. Plus,I have a pretty nice rack, even if I'm not a ram.
So lets hope my submission is posted, otherwise there will be a price to pay. No one wants to see me when I mean business.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Howdy y'all. I'm Franklin. Someone thought all these sheep needed a watchdog to protect the flock and keep 'em out of trouble, so here I am. A dog's gotta do what a dog's gotta do. I came to live with this feller named John in Iowa City. He feeds me, and lets me look yonder out the window for coyotes and other varmints that might be out to get the flock. I bark at 'em, but the neighbors don't like that much.
I grew up in the high plains. My momma taught me to mind my manners at the food bowl, keep my nose clean, and to always be nice to the ladies. People think I'm stupid because I talk kinda slow, but you'd be surprised… I catch on perdy quick.
When I'm not barkin' at the coyotes, eatin' chow, or pickin' guitar with John, I like to practice my ropin' skills. See, I wanna be a rodeo dog someday. I'm still a young pup, so I think I can get there. In the meantime, I'll watch over this loco flock. They are a pretty good group of sheep, it just kinda tough to figure out what in tarnation they're doing sometimes.
But heck, as my good old buddy Waylon Jennings used to say, "I may be crazy, but it keeps me from going insane."
Y'all ride safe now, ya here? I'm gonna get some shut eye... I hope the sheep don't get out!
Sunday, September 23, 2007
My story starts years ago in the old country. As the good book says, it ALL starts back in the old country. Fast forward a few millennia and you’ll see me all by my lonesome in New York City. I was such a little pischer back then. I didn’t know a thing. But lots of maz to me! I got a roommate who worked as a movie critic and I got to go see all the newest releases. But oy vey! What a mess it made my eyes! They’re all crooked now.
After a rough patch in my life, I ended up at Beth-Beth’s Sheep Adoption Home. It really wasn’t too bad though… I got to schmooz with some other sheep. We always picked fights with these cats that lived there. Luckily, I didn’t have to deal with the felines for too long. Along came this poor college kid one night to see Beth-Beth. This boychick, Preston, shleped me back to his place where I live now. He has a huge collection of movies that keep me occupied all day. And that’s really about it.
I’m going to go watch Tevye sing and dance about tradition. L'Chayim!
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Maybe we should have paid attention to the Caution sign and went home then.
We got our pictures taken by the stadium. I got confused because it said it was the Stanford stadium but we didn’t go to Stanford to visit.
I'm confused. Where are we again?
Bingo! I found the G!
Then we got lost and
Wait, what is an elevator for? I don't get it. Good thing Erin was around.
Then we went downtown and meet a bulldog. He was all dressed as a Roman. I tried to tell him that
Grr...don't mess with us!
Then we went and got ice cream and went inside. We never made it to the botanical gardens like
That's okay, you can call me Flower if you want. I don't mind.
Then we went home and made sure Jesse didn’t break anything while we were gone.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
I came to the lab to help the underling Mikey. He needed lots of help. But he scared me because he put me in a plastic bag and took me to the basement. He showed me where he made boobies. It was scary and I think Mikey needed to get out more. Meet some girls that had right boobs too. So
Okay, time to practice my banana kicks. Bing!!!
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
No dogs buddy
Wow! I just love that song and as you all know it may just be the perfect anthem for my life. I just love how a song can tell your life story so simply. FRT music is so unbelievably liberating, unlike Justin whose always bringing things down. FYI I'm Aerin, number 3, and hold the wonderful distinction of joining the flock through the only proper means. All the rest of you are just pretenders. I joined the flock when Justin purchased his new mattress. The store owner warned me this was a weird one, and he couldn't have hit it more on. The store owner didn't even know half the story, didn't know I'd have to deal with that old fart Taylor and all those incessant philosophical ramblings (I've give you philosophy...right up your ass), that freak of a mutt Alex (what dog does C++), oh let's not forget Preston (hmm, probably shouldn't go there P911, you don't want to hear those stories anyhow).
So we've heard Taylor's version of life on the great condo along the yellow brick road. Yeah yeah, wrong state I know...I just really like flying monkeys and this is my story damn it, I'll tell it how it is. So here is the real 411 on life. I sit in the corner, crank up some good punk rock and wait for the world to end. Really what else is there to do in life. Oh I know I could listen to the pompous blow hard Taylor tell about some new discovery from the writings of Nietzsche, OMGYG2BK. Hey at least he doesn't mispronounce it like that buffoon in The History Boys, wonderful movie btw. Yeah well like I said, RME, give me my music and just leave me be. Oh but if you could, drop off some cookies or brownies before you leave.
SOT LY. Back to my music, can you guess which song?
Thursday, August 9, 2007
So what is it that goes here, oh yeah my birth into the flock story. Well I don't know what those crazy homo sapiens had going through their minds, but I was quite happy back on the farm. Serta had finally developed some useful mattresses and put all us sheep out of work. Oh glorious day, I got to sit and read the great philosophers all day. Then one afternoon the caretaker came wandering my way and next thing I wake up on a metal table under some bright florescent lights. Boy did I think I was a goner, figured they were going to harvest my kidneys for the black market and leave me to die in a bathtub full of ice. Now to think, all I can do is dream for such fortunate circumstances. You see I woke up in their research lab; the most despicable of places. Under the guise of NASA funded research those brainless nitwits played Chinese checkers all day long. Ok, so maybe I'm a little harsh they did all graduate so they must have worked at some point, but as much wool as there was flying around that lab they could have just as easily pulled the wool over their advisor's eyes. Anyhow, I was quite petrified in the lab and more than happy to sit in my little corner on my pillow where it was clean and safe. No trips to exotic locals for me. DJ kept mumbling about some boob factory, but then again I never understood that poor thing.
Like I foreshadowed a large portion of the lab graduated and I was free. Well at least free to go home with Justin. He has a nice home, not sure I agree with the color choices but the green does help me feel at home sometimes. Even better it doesn't have cow patty spots, never understood how those creatures live with themselves. Back to the home life story, he even bought me a fun toy. This dog Alex, which is so fun to train. You should see how I taught him to play with Aerin, oooh even better was the time he played with DJ. We'll save that for another day. So yeah I find ways to amuse myself during the day, and occasionally break into the book shelves and find something to read. Its hard with all the smut magazines around here, but I manage to keep the mind nimble.
So my adventures or travels. Well so far I have talked my way out of most trips. Listen if you ever heard the stories about Justin's trips through the airports you wouldn't want to fly with him either. I don't care how much fun it is getting frisked. I hear in the near future we get to go to a cabin and hide away from society. Sounds glorious to me. I'll more than happily go along on that trip. In the mean time I'll try to forget those frightening stories of his travels and try to accompany him on a trip.
Well I'd say it again but really how many times can you hear it. Plus if you've really been reading this entry you know that I probably could care less. So have a good day and for gosh sakes read something informative. Hint, if its the news or about politics I bet its all lies.
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
My turn! Okay, I'm Jesse number 44. And I currently live with Erin, Chris, and D.J. (who will be coming to the blog soon). I go by many nicknames but mainly Drooley. Despite popular belief I don't drool. Not even when you stick your fingers in my nose. Which I hate! I mean really, I wouldn't be able to live with
Hmmm….well the story goes like this. I think. This is what I heard at least. If you read Chris' blog you will know that
That's right they purchased me directly from the Serta website to be the cuddle buddy for any crazed grad student that needed to go to the corner. I even had my own office and door for a while. It's good that I was in the lab, from first hoof experience I found out that students cannot cuddle with each other. It just does not work out. The cuddling turns rather physically violent and usually involves wrestling for DJ's bell. Somehow the students managed to do this without their adviser ever walking in, especially when he was giving tours to the dean from competing schools. If that's not trauma enough for you, their other stress relief involved breaking down cubical walls...my office was so pretty and they just took it away. I'll spare you the horrors they subjected those plants to...its too gruesome for even Stephen King. So in the end was can all say it was wonderful that I came to the rescue.
I also pulled the night shift as lab watch sheep. My best accomplishment was scaring off the tours. Who thought an incessantly staring sheep would scare people so. I must share that information with my co-conspirators back on the "farm." My favorite part of the night shift was becoming great friends with the janitorial staff. I was so honored when Adam came to show me his snazzy new sneakers. Way to go bro! Best of all I got to rat on the students in the lab and tell the janitors who made all the messes...it was never me of course.
But alas the grad students eventually graduated. Well at least some of them. And Erin, who is by far the most deranged human I have ever met, took me with her to
Saturday, August 4, 2007
So what's my story you say...yeah yeah I'll get there, just hold on to your knickers
Well the most important detail of all, I'm number 15 and my complete name is Chris Mac. But you can call me Sheepy. None of the other sheep have graduated sufficiently in their therapy skills to earn a last name. As the narrator suggested the group consists of 1.5 sheep that were adopted through the standard mattress purchase program. Well I have the fortune of being the .5 of a sheep adopted in this manner. You see the homo sapien Chris Mac had a roommate that purchased a Serta mattress and was fortunate enough to adopt me in the process. I learned many wonderful therapy skills living with her, but once she graduated and moved onto the real world she thought she no longer needed me. Little did she know that she would be calling me late at night requesting my help...which of course I always talk her through her problems. (Sorry for those phone bills, I really shouldn't have blamed DJ for them should I have...I still contend that he's responsible for the 900 numbers though)
So my original adopter moves and gives me to her roommate Chris. Chris was getting ready to move as well and decides to have a yard sale. Chris wasn't always one of the brighter ones...he was trying to sell me after all...and planned his yard sale the same weekend as the great move out in their college town. So only one person came to the yard sale and purchased something. That person was Erin and in return for coming and buying, Chris gave her me as a gift.
You see this Erin was in desperate need of my services. In a total of 6 years she earned two bachelors degrees and a masters degree. Oh and talk about a temper...during some our less fruitful initial therapy sessions I often found myself hurled football style across the apartment towards the roommate. My butt still smarts from some of those impacts, but alas I love Erin. Things started to calm down and we were making therapy progress but then she had to travel for some silly research project. Erin left me to be sheep sat by her faithful research companion Justin. I have to eat and Erin was worried that her roommate would retaliate for all the times my butt came flying at her face. It seems that Justin is a little dense though and missed the memo. Instead I was sheep napped and spent a wondrous week with Jamie, who eventually came to join us in our research fun. During this week Jamie and I had a blast and she realized how much she needed a sheep like me. Which was great until Erin came back and I was almost torn into two. It was decided that I wasn't enough sheep for everyone's issues. They had a LOT of problems. This is how my therapy practice developed beyond myself and into its current (well still evolving) final form.
I still happy reside with Erin and the two other sheep in our immediate family. We have many fun adventures together. My favorite has always been flying. I don't know what it is about the experience but something about the wind beneath my wings just gets me soaring. Or maybe it's really getting frisked by the security guards; sometimes it's hard to tell the difference.
Once again I thank you for reading our blog. Please comment and enjoy our upcoming entries. Should you be a sheep and reading this, or other therapy animal (we try to be diverse after all), please send us your stories (email@example.com). We will gladly add them to our blog or if you have a blog of your experiences we'll link to you. After all it's all about getting the homo sapiens through life, and we all know its no easy process.
The Loving Grandmaster Sheep,
Chris 'Sheepy' Mac
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Welcome to the Sheep Prowling Blog. You have haphazardly stumbled upon what is, or will be, a collection of stories about a flock of Serta sheep and their companions. Many of the entries will be posted by the individual sheep as they tell their harrowing tales of adventures throughout the wild blue yonder. Occasionally, the narrator will step in to clarify things as necessary. This being one such case. I pity the fool who reads a sheep entry without some background info.
The first issue we should probably address is just what will be on this blog, which corresponds with what is the significance of Prowling Sheep. Well as any sane sheep knows one can not be all work and no play. These sheep work very hard, but thankfully they also play equally hard. The Prowling Sheep Blog is a chronicling of their various trips and leisure activities.
So know that we've discussed the purpose behind the blog, what other questions do you have? I suspect at least some of you out there are wondering just how did these sheep all come together to form this flock. Which is closely followed by just how many mattresses do you folks own, and just what do you use them all for. As it plays out only 1.5 of the sheep were adopted through the conventional mattress purchase program, the .5 sheep will be explained during the relevant sheep introduction. The rest have been adopted via various methods, one even was brought to us in a bubble wrap uterus...bet you can't wait for that picture. So why all the sheep you ask. Well the story will become more clear as each sheep describes their individual characteristics, but in general the purpose of the sheep is to serve as therapists. Not only are sheep soft and cuddly, but they are quite adept at talking even the most crazed grad student off a ledge.
We (the adopters) are an interesting bunch and so we apologize for any oddities you find in the entries. One thing we have gone to great lengths to assure is that the sheep remain sexless. You see despite our vast backgrounds (medical school, growing up on farms) we have not been able to identify the sex of the sheep. They haven't produced babies for us, do not feel the need to relieve themselves, and in general seem to draw some pride in not revealing this detail to us. For this reason the sheep have all been given asexual names so we didn't have to worry about insulting them, we patiently await like you folks do to see if one of the sheep slips up in its narrative and reveals this information. Until then we will continue going to therapy to solve one of our many complexes. Hmm, wonder if there might be a conflict in interest there...our therapists are giving us complexes...we just might have to talk this one through with them.
Without further ado we shall commence on introducing the team of therapists to you all. I would name them all for you here, except the flock is currently under expansion. They are even looking for a "herding" dog to join the group. I can't really imagine what they expect it to herd, as none of these sheep would even dream of letting some inferior canine have control over their lives. At least they don't let us homo sapiens have any say in things. It should be an interesting story to hear just what role the dog will play within the flock. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, sheep and whatever else, we are pleased to introduce the flock...