Sunday, September 30, 2007

Save the Boobies

Even an anarchist knows a good idea when one passes by. The fabulous people at have developed a wonderful idea on how to raise awareness about breast cancer and hopefully raise some money for research in the process. I was so moved by their idea that I decided to submit my breasts and special nipple ring to the cause. I tried to get Taylor to join in the cause but Taylor just mumbled some nonsense about inequities. Whatever, THAT sheep never wants to play or help out on anything.

I really hope they post my submission. You see they very wisely have a policy asking people not to use animals as props in their images. However, clearly I am not a prop, but a well intentioned supporter of the cause. Plus,I have a pretty nice rack, even if I'm not a ram.

So lets hope my submission is posted, otherwise there will be a price to pay. No one wants to see me when I mean business.

Update: Yeah they think I'm cute!! I've been allowed to slide and will appear on the site tomorrow morning. Check me out!!

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Yee Haw! Franklin at your service.

Howdy y'all. I'm Franklin. Someone thought all these sheep needed a watchdog to protect the flock and keep 'em out of trouble, so here I am. A dog's gotta do what a dog's gotta do. I came to live with this feller named John in Iowa City. He feeds me, and lets me look yonder out the window for coyotes and other varmints that might be out to get the flock. I bark at 'em, but the neighbors don't like that much.

I grew up in the high plains. My momma taught me to mind my manners at the food bowl, keep my nose clean, and to always be nice to the ladies. People think I'm stupid because I talk kinda slow, but you'd be surprised… I catch on perdy quick.

When I'm not barkin' at the coyotes, eatin' chow, or pickin' guitar with John, I like to practice my ropin' skills. See, I wanna be a rodeo dog someday. I'm still a young pup, so I think I can get there. In the meantime, I'll watch over this loco flock. They are a pretty good group of sheep, it just kinda tough to figure out what in tarnation they're doing sometimes.

But heck, as my good old buddy Waylon Jennings used to say, "I may be crazy, but it keeps me from going insane."

Y'all ride safe now, ya here? I'm gonna get some shut eye... I hope the sheep don't get out!

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Without our traditions our lives would be as shaky as, as... as a fiddler on the roof!

Shalom aleycham! I am Elliot, number 58 and I am one of the newest sheep on the flock. (I’m also the most kosher, if you catch my drift.) Now lets get to the goods, eh? Sit back and I’ll tell you a tale that rivals even that of Moses!

My story starts years ago in the old country. As the good book says, it ALL starts back in the old country. Fast forward a few millennia and you’ll see me all by my lonesome in New York City. I was such a little pischer back then. I didn’t know a thing. But lots of maz to me! I got a roommate who worked as a movie critic and I got to go see all the newest releases. But oy vey! What a mess it made my eyes! They’re all crooked now.

After a rough patch in my life, I ended up at Beth-Beth’s Sheep Adoption Home. It really wasn’t too bad though… I got to schmooz with some other sheep. We always picked fights with these cats that lived there. Luckily, I didn’t have to deal with the felines for too long. Along came this poor college kid one night to see Beth-Beth. This boychick, Preston, shleped me back to his place where I live now. He has a huge collection of movies that keep me occupied all day. And that’s really about it.

I’m going to go watch Tevye sing and dance about tradition. L'Chayim!

Thursday, September 6, 2007

No sheep skin for you!

Hmmm…where did the other sheeps go? There are more than just us. No matter, Erin took me and Sheepy on a trip. So I will tell you about it. Jesse wanted to stay home and watch tv and color all day. Jesse is lazy. We got to see all of the University of Georgia. It was fun and really really hot. Apparently the day that we went was a special day for some students. They were getting there sheep skins. They wore black bathrobes and looked silly. I didn't get it, I didn't see any sheep skins. Erin said we didn’t need anymore sheep skins so we went and walked around where they throw the pig skin. Which is good because I didn't want to give up my skin. I like it.

Maybe we should have paid attention to the Caution sign and went home then.

We got our pictures taken by the stadium. I got confused because it said it was the Stanford stadium but we didn’t go to Stanford to visit. Erin said that we don’t need to try and understand how Georgian's name things. After all we were in Athens.

I'm confused. Where are we again?

Bingo! I found the G!

Then we got lost and Erin touched a dirty dog statue and got slimed. So we tried to find a bathroom so she could wash her hands. This was important because she was caring us. But when we got inside this weird building all the bathrooms were ripped out and laying in the hallway. Erin found some paper towels by the pop machine and used them. Then we looked for the way out. The directions on the wall seemed questionable so Erin just used her senses to get out.

Wait, what is an elevator for? I don't get it. Good thing Erin was around.

Then we went downtown and meet a bulldog. He was all dressed as a Roman. I tried to tell him that Rome was a different city in Georgia but he was not very talkative. We got our picture taken with him. We tired to look mean like him but I don’t think it worked.

Grr...don't mess with us!

Then we went and got ice cream and went inside. We never made it to the botanical gardens like Erin wanted. But she did let us play in the big flower arrangement at her cousin’s house.

That's okay, you can call me Flower if you want. I don't mind.

Then we went home and made sure Jesse didn’t break anything while we were gone.