Well quite the shenanigans going on around here. It's a good thing I'm stepping in to bring a modicum of decorum back to this blog. Now for those boring but pertinent details I'm Taylor, #100, and reside in Iowa with Justin. As you may have noticed from my picture I'm an avid reader, I was a little perturbed to be bothered for the photo mind you but I tried to smile. Maybe if they give me permission I'll share some of my worldly thoughts and philosophies with you. It might be too grown up for this blog though, since philosophizing isn't exactly prowling.
So what is it that goes here, oh yeah my birth into the flock story. Well I don't know what those crazy homo sapiens had going through their minds, but I was quite happy back on the farm. Serta had finally developed some useful mattresses and put all us sheep out of work. Oh glorious day, I got to sit and read the great philosophers all day. Then one afternoon the caretaker came wandering my way and next thing I wake up on a metal table under some bright florescent lights. Boy did I think I was a goner, figured they were going to harvest my kidneys for the black market and leave me to die in a bathtub full of ice. Now to think, all I can do is dream for such fortunate circumstances. You see I woke up in their research lab; the most despicable of places. Under the guise of NASA funded research those brainless nitwits played Chinese checkers all day long. Ok, so maybe I'm a little harsh they did all graduate so they must have worked at some point, but as much wool as there was flying around that lab they could have just as easily pulled the wool over their advisor's eyes. Anyhow, I was quite petrified in the lab and more than happy to sit in my little corner on my pillow where it was clean and safe. No trips to exotic locals for me. DJ kept mumbling about some boob factory, but then again I never understood that poor thing.
Like I foreshadowed a large portion of the lab graduated and I was free. Well at least free to go home with Justin. He has a nice home, not sure I agree with the color choices but the green does help me feel at home sometimes. Even better it doesn't have cow patty spots, never understood how those creatures live with themselves. Back to the home life story, he even bought me a fun toy. This dog Alex, which is so fun to train. You should see how I taught him to play with Aerin, oooh even better was the time he played with DJ. We'll save that for another day. So yeah I find ways to amuse myself during the day, and occasionally break into the book shelves and find something to read. Its hard with all the smut magazines around here, but I manage to keep the mind nimble.
So my adventures or travels. Well so far I have talked my way out of most trips. Listen if you ever heard the stories about Justin's trips through the airports you wouldn't want to fly with him either. I don't care how much fun it is getting frisked. I hear in the near future we get to go to a cabin and hide away from society. Sounds glorious to me. I'll more than happily go along on that trip. In the mean time I'll try to forget those frightening stories of his travels and try to accompany him on a trip.
Well I'd say it again but really how many times can you hear it. Plus if you've really been reading this entry you know that I probably could care less. So have a good day and for gosh sakes read something informative. Hint, if its the news or about politics I bet its all lies.
Taylor
Bei uns scheint die Sonnääääääh
5 years ago
26 comments:
Hmmm slightly snobby for a sheep that I do remember wearing an Aloha shirt in the lab. And you should know better than to let Alex play with Aerin and DJ. I might have to come and swap you up side that little noggin of yours with one of those big smutty magazines.
I think that Taylor might have exaggerated a bit about him doing any work with training Alex. (Though he DID have quite a bit to do with Alex playing with Aerin and DJ.) For the most he just sits and reads while the homo sapiens try to teach Alex to be good.
Just what kind of smut are we talking here? The usual kind, or does Taylor also consider things like "Entertainment Weekly" and "Sports Illustrated" smutty because of their lack of philosophical content?
Apparently, Preston has determined that Taylor is a boy. Did Taylor tell you that or are you molesting the sheep, Preston?
No, no, no... no sheep molestation here. Just a force of habit. Pro-nouns make the world go round. Please excuse my lack of sheep interaction.
No this is at least some high brow smut. Instinct, Out you know those magazines that are all about the stories.
Now Preston, really you think you train that dog at all. I've got all day to work with Alex.
Wow, so much love pouring out for Taylor here. I now can see why I had to fight so much to get a picture for the blog. I believe the exact response was, "what me beautify my self for those insolent things"
Taylor can play with Alex all they want. They work together quite wonderfully. Not my fault DJ got caught in the crossfire
Well, Taylor, why is it that we see no progress from Alex when we come home then? Hmmmm?
Or are you training him to do things that we can't see at the moment? (C++ programming and such)
Preston, I understand. I do that all the time. I say things like "Preston when home, I hope she made it there safely." I never get those pronouns right.
hmmm...who needs that smut when you have the internet. Taylor, did Justin say you can use the internet unsupervised?
Oh, Erin... poking fun at someone doesn't work when you start the insult off with the wrong word. "Preston when home..."
Sorry...try again. :)
I can't help it I can write and am a random pronoun generator.
Taylor... are YOU the one visiting those sites on Justin's computer?
And here I was getting a bit worried. That's some intense stuff, buddy... I think you need help.
and just how would you know they're intense Preston if you didn't visit them yourself?
Hmmm..and why are you checking Justin's history?
Justin, maybe it is time for you to move again, or at least change the locks.
These were sites that were up when I went to check on Alex on one Justin's long days. They were there on the computer screen, meaning that someone was on there recently. I had no choice but to look, Beth-Beth.
"No choice but to look" uh huh. I bet you were the one that pulled them up and then blamed Taylor when Justin caught you. Well I have two words for Justin, lock change.
pfft. why would i want to look at dirtysheeplove.com? This was obviously Taylor.
Were you the one that sent the flock here that dirty website: barnyard_fantasy.com/~sheep. Preston if it isn't bad enough that you fill the sheep at Justin's place with smut you have to do it at my place too?
Where is Aerin in all of this. Eye closed I hope.
Don't worry about that... Taylor trained Alex to keep Aerin locked firmly in his mouth at all times.
If you would all pardon me from your silly games its May time.
I rest my case. More mounting evidence against Taylor. The sheep is unsupervised at Justin's place, an is obviously on the computer. Then Taylor says that it's "May time." I wonder what Taylor is looking at online that led to this "May time."
I seem to be missing the problem here. Work hard play hard. For that matter what else are the sheep going to do. Sit and stare at the window and drool on themselves (no offense Jesse)!
I don't really drool! And now I am not going to tell you all the fun we have when Erin is not around. But we have enough brains to cover our tracks. Normally.
Brains, haha. You've never seen me hiding in a dryer. You really had me lol'ing on that one
And I am still smarter than you to hid all my fun. Hmmm..what does that say about you?
First off buddy, I might recommend skipping the typing lessons from Erin, never know what erinisms will creep in.
Secondly, hiding is such a cowardly act. Why be ashamed and have to cower in fear over everything. Flaunt it and be proud.
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