Sunday, September 23, 2007

Without our traditions our lives would be as shaky as, as... as a fiddler on the roof!

Shalom aleycham! I am Elliot, number 58 and I am one of the newest sheep on the flock. (I’m also the most kosher, if you catch my drift.) Now lets get to the goods, eh? Sit back and I’ll tell you a tale that rivals even that of Moses!

My story starts years ago in the old country. As the good book says, it ALL starts back in the old country. Fast forward a few millennia and you’ll see me all by my lonesome in New York City. I was such a little pischer back then. I didn’t know a thing. But lots of maz to me! I got a roommate who worked as a movie critic and I got to go see all the newest releases. But oy vey! What a mess it made my eyes! They’re all crooked now.

After a rough patch in my life, I ended up at Beth-Beth’s Sheep Adoption Home. It really wasn’t too bad though… I got to schmooz with some other sheep. We always picked fights with these cats that lived there. Luckily, I didn’t have to deal with the felines for too long. Along came this poor college kid one night to see Beth-Beth. This boychick, Preston, shleped me back to his place where I live now. He has a huge collection of movies that keep me occupied all day. And that’s really about it.

I’m going to go watch Tevye sing and dance about tradition. L'Chayim!

21 comments:

Erin said...

Hi Elliot!! Movie buff, huh? What is your favorite?

Taylor said...

Movies are such a waste, you are only rotting away your brain.

Erin said...

Well some have less to rot than others.

elliot said...

Well... I don't really have a favorite movie. But I like anything with Spielberg.

Aerin said...

With Spielberg. Spielberg doesn't really appear in movies, how about by Spielberg.

Erin said...

Hmmm not sure Spielberg appears in movies either.

John said...

Actually, I think Spielberg made an appearance in the Blues Brothers.

Justin said...

Oh sure, all directors make cameos. Its not a Hitchcock film until you see that fat man himself. While he may define the movie you certainly don't call it a film with Hitchcock, its a film by Hitchcock.

Justin said...

P.S. My Erinnisms are allowed, Elliot's are not. Make what you want out of that, just serve it with mint sauce.

Sheepy said...

Hey! No mint jelly!!! I thought we had this conversation already. You stupid humans never remember anything.

Jesse said...

I like jelly.

Taylor said...

Don't worry Chris. If he even thought about preparing mint jelly I would slip so much fructose into his food he wouldn't know what hit him

Erin said...

Hmmm Ingredients for mint jelly:

* 1 1/2 cups packed fresh mint leaves and stems
* 2 tablespoons lemon juice
* 2 1/4 cups boiling water
* 1 drop green food color
* 3 1/2 cups white sugar
* 1/2 (6 fluid ounce) container liquid pectin

This might kill Justin in his tracks before he gets to any lamb.

Sheepy said...

O, I think I will go have a mint jelly bath to be sure to keep Justin away. Hmmm...you think Alex is fruitose intolerant too?

Justin said...

Hmm, just substitute dextrose in for the sugar and I think I'm good to go.

Chris: I'd be watching out for Erin, she's the one who actually went and looked up the recipe.

Alex says that he's not aware of being fructose intolerant, and even if he was thinks a little indigestion would be worth it for munching on some tasty sheep

John said...

Elliot, stop me if this is too personal, but did you have your tail docked at the same time as your bris? It just seems logical since the Rabbi would already have the snippers out.

Erin said...

Seems to me that Elliot's tail docking would be the brisk.

elliot said...

Oy vey! You ask such things? Your mother would be ashamed.

If you must know, yes, it was the tail. And no, it wasn't enjoyable.

beth said...

I think Alex is fructose intolerant by default. It appears that it is a contagious disease that people who hang out with Justin too much get. I think the sheeps are safe, just keep the real mint jelly close!

Erin said...

But I'm not fruitose intolerant...or am I? Hmmm....

John said...

Sorry if I was too personal Elliot. I'm making dinner, and it's a good think you're not all coming over. Making a kosher, fructose-free meal would be a stretch for my abilities, mint jelly or no.