Step 1) The Hunt
You need to go 0ut and find a turkey in its natural habitat. It's important to sneak up on it as not to startle the poor thing. Be prepared to wrestle it to the ground if it has a bit of a kick.
After you hog tie the turkey (we don't want it to wriggle away), you need to prepare it. First and foremost don't forget the stuffing, you can also put lots of goodies in the pan. This will help add flavor.
Step 3) Cooking
They say you should cook a turkey a half hour for every pound. But we say cook it until its wool catches fire and falls off. That will seer in the juices and make it nice and moist for eating.
Step 4) Eat
Eat the turkey with lots of good food and friends. Gobble Gobble!
Ok D.J. gets to eat first because D.J. was "playing" the role of the turkey and because we got blackmailed. It was either D.J. eats first or Erin learns how the little sheep's bottom got blackened.