Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Cuddle Buddy

My turn! Okay, I'm Jesse number 44. And I currently live with Erin, Chris, and D.J. (who will be coming to the blog soon). I go by many nicknames but mainly Drooley. Despite popular belief I don't drool. Not even when you stick your fingers in my nose. Which I hate! I mean really, I wouldn't be able to live with Erin if I constantly had facial liquids seeping out. But I didn't always live with Erin. No I used to live in the lab. Now how did I get there…

Hmmm….well the story goes like this. I think. This is what I heard at least. If you read Chris' blog you will know that Erin went on a research trip. Unfortunately Erin was not the only one on these trips and she had to go several times. Sometimes at night she mumbles something about the stress and the horror. She really still won't tell me the story. I just know that I end up being slept on when those dreams come back. I can add from first hand experience that the lab was a stressful environment too (Back to the nose poking thing). So you get the idea, all this stress floating around and only one Chris holding therapy sessions, just not enough for all the graduate students. This is how I enter the picture. I brought the students back to their elementary years by providing a cuddle corner. I weigh in at 9 lbs and am 4 ft tall. Now don't get me wrong, but I'm not big boned...a hex on the next person who tries to imply such. I am fluffy and damn proud of it. So as you can imagine I was the perfect for lab students to cuddle with in the corner while rocking back in forth in the fetal position.

That's right they purchased me directly from the Serta website to be the cuddle buddy for any crazed grad student that needed to go to the corner. I even had my own office and door for a while. It's good that I was in the lab, from first hoof experience I found out that students cannot cuddle with each other. It just does not work out. The cuddling turns rather physically violent and usually involves wrestling for DJ's bell. Somehow the students managed to do this without their adviser ever walking in, especially when he was giving tours to the dean from competing schools. If that's not trauma enough for you, their other stress relief involved breaking down cubical walls...my office was so pretty and they just took it away. I'll spare you the horrors they subjected those plants to...its too gruesome for even Stephen King. So in the end was can all say it was wonderful that I came to the rescue.

I also pulled the night shift as lab watch sheep. My best accomplishment was scaring off the tours. Who thought an incessantly staring sheep would scare people so. I must share that information with my co-conspirators back on the "farm." My favorite part of the night shift was becoming great friends with the janitorial staff. I was so honored when Adam came to show me his snazzy new sneakers. Way to go bro! Best of all I got to rat on the students in the lab and tell the janitors who made all the messes...it was never me of course.

But alas the grad students eventually graduated. Well at least some of them. And Erin, who is by far the most deranged human I have ever met, took me with her to Georgia. She obviously needed me the most. O…I think I hear her now. Better fluff my tummy in preparation of getting squeezed. Thanks for reading. Talk to you later!

7 comments:

Erin said...

New sneakers! :) I was never the messy one that is why Adam liked me bestest.

And I love my cuddle buddy.

Justin said...

Hmm, this blog posting suggests that Adam liked Jesse best. Sounds like your cuddle buddy has been telling you some white lies. Must be a real good cuddle buddy

Erin said...

Well I was talking bestest of the lab students not the sheep.

John said...

Does Jesse have any broken ribs from getting squeezed by Erin so much?

Erin said...

No, Jesse has too much fluff. And likes to be squeezed.

Preston said...

Someone really should let Serta know how good the sheep are at keeping watch for overnight shifts. Maybe then they can use their sheep instead of security guards. This would save them money, which they could invest in the production of more sheep?

Justin said...

I don't know about you, but a sheep security guard doesn't really scare me. Not quite the deterrent I think most people are looking for. Then again I have a deaf watch dog, so clearly I'm not the security expert.