Save the Boobies

Even an anarchist knows a good idea when one passes by. The fabulous people at http://www.boobiethon.com/ have developed a wonderful idea on how to raise awareness about breast cancer and hopefully raise some money for research in the process. I was so moved by their idea that I decided to submit my breasts and special nipple ring to the cause. I tried to get Taylor to join in the cause but Taylor just mumbled some nonsense about inequities. Whatever, THAT sheep never wants to play or help out on anything.

I really hope they post my submission. You see they very wisely have a policy asking people not to use animals as props in their images. However, clearly I am not a prop, but a well intentioned supporter of the cause. Plus,I have a pretty nice rack, even if I'm not a ram.

So lets hope my submission is posted, otherwise there will be a price to pay. No one wants to see me when I mean business.

Update: Yeah they think I'm cute!! I've been allowed to slide and will appear on the site tomorrow morning. Check me out!! http://www.boobiethon.com/

Yee Haw! Franklin at your service.

Howdy y'all. I'm Franklin. Someone thought all these sheep needed a watchdog to protect the flock and keep 'em out of trouble, so here I am. A dog's gotta do what a dog's gotta do. I came to live with this feller named John in Iowa City. He feeds me, and lets me look yonder out the window for coyotes and other varmints that might be out to get the flock. I bark at 'em, but the neighbors don't like that much.

I grew up in the high plains. My momma taught me to mind my manners at the food bowl, keep my nose clean, and to always be nice to the ladies. People think I'm stupid because I talk kinda slow, but you'd be surprised… I catch on perdy quick.

When I'm not barkin' at the coyotes, eatin' chow, or pickin' guitar with John, I like to practice my ropin' skills. See, I wanna be a rodeo dog someday. I'm still a young pup, so I think I can get there. In the meantime, I'll watch over this loco flock. They are a pretty good group of sheep, it just kinda tough to figure out what in tarnation they're doing sometimes.

But heck, as my good old buddy Waylon Jennings used to say, "I may be crazy, but it keeps me from going insane."

Y'all ride safe now, ya here? I'm gonna get some shut eye... I hope the sheep don't get out!

Without our traditions our lives would be as shaky as, as... as a fiddler on the roof!

Shalom aleycham! I am Elliot, number 58 and I am one of the newest sheep on the flock. (I’m also the most kosher, if you catch my drift.) Now lets get to the goods, eh? Sit back and I’ll tell you a tale that rivals even that of Moses!

My story starts years ago in the old country. As the good book says, it ALL starts back in the old country. Fast forward a few millennia and you’ll see me all by my lonesome in New York City. I was such a little pischer back then. I didn’t know a thing. But lots of maz to me! I got a roommate who worked as a movie critic and I got to go see all the newest releases. But oy vey! What a mess it made my eyes! They’re all crooked now.

After a rough patch in my life, I ended up at Beth-Beth’s Sheep Adoption Home. It really wasn’t too bad though… I got to schmooz with some other sheep. We always picked fights with these cats that lived there. Luckily, I didn’t have to deal with the felines for too long. Along came this poor college kid one night to see Beth-Beth. This boychick, Preston, shleped me back to his place where I live now. He has a huge collection of movies that keep me occupied all day. And that’s really about it.

I’m going to go watch Tevye sing and dance about tradition. L'Chayim!

No sheep skin for you!

Hmmm…where did the other sheeps go? There are more than just us. No matter, Erin took me and Sheepy on a trip. So I will tell you about it. Jesse wanted to stay home and watch tv and color all day. Jesse is lazy. We got to see all of the University of Georgia. It was fun and really really hot. Apparently the day that we went was a special day for some students. They were getting there sheep skins. They wore black bathrobes and looked silly. I didn't get it, I didn't see any sheep skins. Erin said we didn’t need anymore sheep skins so we went and walked around where they throw the pig skin. Which is good because I didn't want to give up my skin. I like it.

Maybe we should have paid attention to the Caution sign and went home then.

We got our pictures taken by the stadium. I got confused because it said it was the Stanford stadium but we didn’t go to Stanford to visit. Erin said that we don’t need to try and understand how Georgian's name things. After all we were in Athens.

I'm confused. Where are we again?

Bingo! I found the G!

Then we got lost and Erin touched a dirty dog statue and got slimed. So we tried to find a bathroom so she could wash her hands. This was important because she was caring us. But when we got inside this weird building all the bathrooms were ripped out and laying in the hallway. Erin found some paper towels by the pop machine and used them. Then we looked for the way out. The directions on the wall seemed questionable so Erin just used her senses to get out.

Wait, what is an elevator for? I don't get it. Good thing Erin was around.

Then we went downtown and meet a bulldog. He was all dressed as a Roman. I tried to tell him that Rome was a different city in Georgia but he was not very talkative. We got our picture taken with him. We tired to look mean like him but I don’t think it worked.

Grr...don't mess with us!

Then we went and got ice cream and went inside. We never made it to the botanical gardens like Erin wanted. But she did let us play in the big flower arrangement at her cousin’s house.

That's okay, you can call me Flower if you want. I don't mind.

Then we went home and made sure Jesse didn’t break anything while we were gone.

NO! My bell. My turn!

My TURN!!!! Well it was my turn last time but Aerin is a skunk and budged. Hi, I’m Drew Jean, but everyone calls D.J. I’m the special ½. I came to the lab about the same time as Taylor did, but unlike that sheep I like to play. I love to play Chinese checkers with the labmates but sometimes I get in trouble. You see I love to gnaw on things because of my braces but then they get stuck on things. So I ruin some stuff. But I think that is what makes me fit so well in the lab.

I came to the lab to help the underling Mikey. He needed lots of help. But he scared me because he put me in a plastic bag and took me to the basement. He showed me where he made boobies. It was scary and I think Mikey needed to get out more. Meet some girls that had right boobs too. So Erin let me hang with her. She had issues too but graduate school issues. She wasn’t making boy parts in the basement.

Erin gave me a really supper gift. It was a bell. It was attached to a really pretty pink balloon. I love my bell, its rings loudly. But others don’t think it was as great. They stole my bell. Erin tried to wrestle it back but she didn’t get it. She tried though.

Erin took me to Georgia with Jesse and Sheepy. It is warm and there are lots of fires. But I didn’t do it! It wasn’t me. But then Erin got my bell back. And I play with it all day. I want to be a great soccer player when I grow up. I miss the other sheep. But we are internet savy because we watched the students in the lab so much. So when Erin is off working I play with my bell and talk to my sheep friends.

Okay, time to practice my banana kicks. Bing!!!

Hmm, Antichrist...That could be interesting

I wanna be anarchy !

No dogs buddy

Wow! I just love that song and as you all know it may just be the perfect anthem for my life. I just love how a song can tell your life story so simply. FRT music is so unbelievably liberating, unlike Justin whose always bringing things down. FYI I'm Aerin, number 3, and hold the wonderful distinction of joining the flock through the only proper means. All the rest of you are just pretenders. I joined the flock when Justin purchased his new mattress. The store owner warned me this was a weird one, and he couldn't have hit it more on. The store owner didn't even know half the story, didn't know I'd have to deal with that old fart Taylor and all those incessant philosophical ramblings (I've give you philosophy...right up your ass), that freak of a mutt Alex (what dog does C++), oh let's not forget Preston (hmm, probably shouldn't go there P911, you don't want to hear those stories anyhow).

So we've heard Taylor's version of life on the great condo along the yellow brick road. Yeah yeah, wrong state I know...I just really like flying monkeys and this is my story damn it, I'll tell it how it is. So here is the real 411 on life. I sit in the corner, crank up some good punk rock and wait for the world to end. Really what else is there to do in life. Oh I know I could listen to the pompous blow hard Taylor tell about some new discovery from the writings of Nietzsche, OMGYG2BK. Hey at least he doesn't mispronounce it like that buffoon in The History Boys, wonderful movie btw. Yeah well like I said, RME, give me my music and just leave me be. Oh but if you could, drop off some cookies or brownies before you leave.

SOT LY. Back to my music, can you guess which song?

Aerin

If I Have To!!

Well quite the shenanigans going on around here. It's a good thing I'm stepping in to bring a modicum of decorum back to this blog. Now for those boring but pertinent details I'm Taylor, #100, and reside in Iowa with Justin. As you may have noticed from my picture I'm an avid reader, I was a little perturbed to be bothered for the photo mind you but I tried to smile. Maybe if they give me permission I'll share some of my worldly thoughts and philosophies with you. It might be too grown up for this blog though, since philosophizing isn't exactly prowling.

So what is it that goes here, oh yeah my birth into the flock story. Well I don't know what those crazy homo sapiens had going through their minds, but I was quite happy back on the farm. Serta had finally developed some useful mattresses and put all us sheep out of work. Oh glorious day, I got to sit and read the great philosophers all day. Then one afternoon the caretaker came wandering my way and next thing I wake up on a metal table under some bright florescent lights. Boy did I think I was a goner, figured they were going to harvest my kidneys for the black market and leave me to die in a bathtub full of ice. Now to think, all I can do is dream for such fortunate circumstances. You see I woke up in their research lab; the most despicable of places. Under the guise of NASA funded research those brainless nitwits played Chinese checkers all day long. Ok, so maybe I'm a little harsh they did all graduate so they must have worked at some point, but as much wool as there was flying around that lab they could have just as easily pulled the wool over their advisor's eyes. Anyhow, I was quite petrified in the lab and more than happy to sit in my little corner on my pillow where it was clean and safe. No trips to exotic locals for me. DJ kept mumbling about some boob factory, but then again I never understood that poor thing.

Like I foreshadowed a large portion of the lab graduated and I was free. Well at least free to go home with Justin. He has a nice home, not sure I agree with the color choices but the green does help me feel at home sometimes. Even better it doesn't have cow patty spots, never understood how those creatures live with themselves. Back to the home life story, he even bought me a fun toy. This dog Alex, which is so fun to train. You should see how I taught him to play with Aerin, oooh even better was the time he played with DJ. We'll save that for another day. So yeah I find ways to amuse myself during the day, and occasionally break into the book shelves and find something to read. Its hard with all the smut magazines around here, but I manage to keep the mind nimble.

So my adventures or travels. Well so far I have talked my way out of most trips. Listen if you ever heard the stories about Justin's trips through the airports you wouldn't want to fly with him either. I don't care how much fun it is getting frisked. I hear in the near future we get to go to a cabin and hide away from society. Sounds glorious to me. I'll more than happily go along on that trip. In the mean time I'll try to forget those frightening stories of his travels and try to accompany him on a trip.

Well I'd say it again but really how many times can you hear it. Plus if you've really been reading this entry you know that I probably could care less. So have a good day and for gosh sakes read something informative. Hint, if its the news or about politics I bet its all lies.

Taylor