Merry Christmas!

Chris: I told you we should have come earlier. I can't see anything because of this cow.

D.J. : Hmmm...You think the concession manger is still open?


O yeah, you wanted to take a right at Albuquerque.

Sheep Theorist at Work

I know you miss the sheep postings. But this time of year sheep have to be doing their job. And ours is to help the humans in their breakdowns. And the Holidays and Finals Week just poop us out. So much drama!


sorry we have to work overtime this time of year

We got a visitor!!!

We got a visitor! She took us all over Atlanta playing tourist. First, we needed to fill up with a good breakfast.

We need forks too please!!!

Before we got to Atlanta we stopped at the touristy place in Peachtree City. Peachtree Lake was in Sweet Home Alabama and is a great place to sunbath!

Erin, come rub lotion on my belly.

We got into the car and drove to Atlanta. It was really crowded because there was a big football game on. And then we ran into a parade. It was the Atlanta Christmas Parade. It was lots of fun. Good thing we wore our warm hats while standing outside.

Wha'cha looking at?

Ok enough parade, we are on a mission. We wanted to see the New World of Coca Cola.

You see us? We are so small with this sign.

Hehe, inside the Coke place we snuck past the "do not pass bar" to get closer to the exhibit. What? We are small, we need to be close to see.

Shhhh...don't tell anyone we broke the rules.

It was lots of fun at the New World of Coke but we enjoyed the cool beverages at the end best. All except the Beverly. That one is gross!

Cheers!

Okay, now for the CNN tour. We got our tickets and are standing in line. But the rest is a secret. Shh!!! No pictures in the studio please.

Let us in!!

We would be great news reporters. Don't you think?

Coming to you from outside CNN Atlanta.

Ok then we went home and watched movies. It was a great day. We like visitors. They like us...we hope.

Bamboo.

Preston got himself a new tablet for his computer.  It lets you draw things just as though it were a pen and paper.  When he went to class today I played with it and drew what is probably the best piece of art ever created.

Happy St. Nick Day!!!

So today is Saint Nicholas Day. You know what that means!? Ya, I didn't either until Erin told me. But then I was really excited. First you put your shoe out. We sheep don't wear shoes so we put all of Erin's out just for good measure. Then St. Nick comes and puts treats in our shoes. I wish we lived with Imelda Marcos. Erin doesn't have a ton of shoes. Then we woke up but didn't know which shoe had the treats in it. So we dove in. DJ got stuck in a bar boot. Must have thought that the bigger the shoe the bigger the treat. I thought I could sniff the treats out but then caught a whiff of Erin's gym shoes. She is so getting oder eaters for Christmas. But Chris won. Chris found a treat first.

I don't feel so well.

Give Thanks

Ok, so I know Thanksgiving was almost two weeks ago, but I was just so traumatized by the experience, I’m just feeling up to writing about it now.
Many of you may know I live with Beth, what probably has not been mentioned is that we also live with her roommate, her roommate’s boyfriend (he doesn’t ACTUALLY live here, but might as well) and their delightful cat, Haley. Ok, actually the cat was fairly nice when we both moved in, calm, cute, would sometimes even come cuddle with me on Beth’s chair when she wasn’t there. Now that Haley is older, she meows loudly and wakes me up every day at 6:50 am AND shreds every stack of paper or cardboard she can find and makes a mess all over the living room that I get blamed for! I realize some of the flock is mischievous, but honestly, what would I be making paper confetti for and what use would it be all over the floor? Ugg, anyway. Beth was going back home for a whole week for Thanksgiving. She said I could stay here or go home with her. Since I didn’t want to be on my own with that darn cat all week, I decided to go with Beth - little did I know then the terror that awaited.
Beth’s house was fine, lots more room than the apartment to roam around or hang out and take a nap or watch TV; anything a sheep like myself might like to do. It was perfect, except for…Euclid. I didn’t think it was possible, but Beth’s dad’s dog is even WORSE than Haley. To his credit, he did have the decency to wait until 7:00 am to bark incessantly and wake me up, but he continued the whole entire day. All day, every day, for an entire week! It’s more than this poor kid can handle. As Elliot would say, “Oy vey!”

Presents galore

We went to Erin's home town for Thanksgiving. It was fun. But we decided to make holiday gifts for all the sheep. We wanted to send the one that went the farthest first. Hope you like it Marty and Jeremy! We wrapped it really well because it was going really far. Erin said it was going to drive the post man crazy.

We are great sheep wrappers!
(Names and addresses were smeared to protect the crazies.)

Unfortunately, the Post Office is not open on Thanksgiving so Erin said we would have to wait a day to mail it. So she went to bed and we guarded the package. But we were mugged and tied up.

(mmm...mmm..mmm..mmm)

Erin saved us and found the package. Off to the PO we went. We had to fill out a custom form to mail the package. It was hard. Good thing we had a really nice postal lady help us.

Opposable thumbs might have helped.

We got it all figured out and then we paid for it. Even got a receipt. The postal lady was going to let us ride in the mail cart but other customers came in. So she had to help them. Knew we should have had Jesse guard the door.

OOO...It's like getting a gift for sending one.

Then it was time to go back to Georgia. Iowa is fun but Georgia is where we don't get mugged and stolen every day. We had a present waiting for us in the mailbox. It came "Royal Mail" We must be special. We were so excited. Erin wouldn't let us in the house until we calmed down. She though we might piddle on the carpet.

Ok enough pictures, let's rip this baby open!

Ok FINALLY Erin put the camera down and helped us open the package. Again with those opposable thumb issues. But we got it open!!! I would have used my braces if I had too. And look we got new head gear. Hats for everyone! Well most everyone.

We are very posh sheep now. Just like Marty and Jeremy.

We also got a CD but Erin can't get her Real Player to work. Ug...silly humans. But the gifts are awesome!!! THANKS MARTY AND JEREMY!! The rest of you sheep...Erin says she will get you your hats so you can play in the cold and snow soon.

Oy vey! This is not OK!

Shalom, shmucks. It’s been awhile since my last post. The reason being that I’ve been working extra hard to make sure that this little pischer, Preston, doesn’t fail out of school.

However, what I am about to tell you is worthy of a post. I’ve been doing some serious research during the days here, since I’ve finished watching all of Preston’s DVDs. I’ve encountered more than one website dedicated to animals that aren’t sheep and I am outraged that there aren’t sites like these for us sheep.

Let me start out with www.petfinder.com. This is an overall decent website. However, no sheep are available for adoption. Therefore, I am giving this site the new “Oy vey! Not OK!” stamp.

The next disgusts me. Head on over to www.cattv.com and you will find a website catered completely to cats. There is event a feature that has little birds, bees, and who knows what other nonsense moving around the page so the cats can “have something to play with.” Well what about us sheep, huh? Where’s the virtual sheers? Oy vey! Not OK!”

And finally we have www.doggiewoggie.com. This is one of the worst sites I have ever seen. Definitely an Oy vey! Not OK!

But all hope is not lost, my friends! Over at www.kiddyhouse.com/Farm/Sheep there is a ton of information about us sheep! Go check it out! OY VEY! WAY OK!

My Interpretation of Christmas

I want to be in a competition too!!! Even though Erin keeps telling me that the Boobie-Thon was not a competition I don’t believe her. Aerin gets all the fun. But not no more! I rounded up the flock & friends, brushed my teeth, and found my best side. That took a while because we all know I am so cute from any angle. And Erin got to snapping. It took a while; you know how Erin gets. But we finally got two golden winners. (We hope.)

We just submitted the following pictures to the blog ‘HOLLYWOOD Where Hot Goes To Die’ at wherehotcomestodie.blogspot.com under The Pets of Christmas Contest. No jokes on the contest name. It is for a very broad range of participants, not all pets. But anyway it is a very good blog if you are interested in a good funny read. I mean next to ours of course.

Hand it over and no one gets melted! The true meaning of Christmas.

MUSH! Come on Jesse, put your back into it!

So what are you guys waiting for? Let’s see what other sheep can come up with. Come on all, start submitting your pictures to the contest. And post them on our blog too, of course. And let’s see who come out on top and who has to pick ass wool out of their teeth from being on the bottom. AND BREAK!

What does it take to get a good fluffer around here?

Phew!! I know understand why no one will ever travel with Justin. Taylor and I decided to get adventerous and join Justin on a trip out to San Diego. Seemed like the perfect get away. Which it was, it was just the getting away part that's a little screwy.

1) Drive Faster Justin, Faster:


Hmm, apparently when your flight leaves the airport at 5:30, you are supposed to arrive earlier than 5. Well, Justin forgot this and the nasty gate agent wasn't going to let us check in even though we only had carry on luggage. (Yes it was a travesty, but I managed it). I came to the rescue, showed a little muscle and convinced the gate agent his man hood was more important than giving us a hard time. So we get through security, walk up to the gate expecting a big line only to realize that its 5:10 and we still have 20 minutes and there isn't even a plane on the ground.


2) How does 5:30 = 6:00?


So much for that 5:30 departure. The plane doesn't land until 5:30 so we don't start boarding until 5:45 and don't close the cabin door until 6. Hmm, that layover in Denver is getting shorter. Who would have thought an hour and a half layover wouldn't be long enough.



3) Who thought it was so hard to get a little fluffing


Come to find out that the airplane was late because the APU unit is broken. That would explain why it was so hot in the cabin. It also means the plane can't take off on its own, it needs a little help getting "warmed" up. So the faithful crew at CID bring around the fluffer, but wait you mean fluffers don't like corn? Seems they put the wrong fuel into the fluffer. So off we go for a another one, but wait this is CID, how many other fluffers can there be.



4) I so enjoy sitting on the tarmac


So the plane got its fluffing, became all cooperative and we flew to Denver. We left CID 50 minutes late but that still left us 40 minutes in Denver. Dinner is off the table, but at least we'll make our destination and not have to spend the night in Denver. We touch down in Denver, start taxing and stop. Oh! no you don't!! We sit on the tarmac for 20 minutes. Apparently since we were late our gate was in use and they thought it best to punish us by sitting and making us wait for the other plane to push off.



5) What gate was that?


Alright off the plane and T-15 until the next plane leaves. What gate are we at, oh B91. You mean we are at the farest end of the airport and have two extra long hall ways between us and the rest of the B concourse. Sounds fishy if you ask me. But whatever, so what gate are we leaving out of B24. Oh crap, the B concourse only goes to B15. Could you make it any farther please. Apparently Justin runs or some crazy stuff like that. Two hallways and 4 moving sidewalks later we arrived at the gate to a very peeved looking attendant who doesn't even acknowledge that we (well Justin) is panting. Oh and for the maintenance man on moving side walk 2, sorry about your toes, but really the four of you sitting on both sides of the railing, you're lucky he only took out your toes. I personally was throwing fists a little bit higher.



6) We're here...hey why isn't the door opening


So we take off, fly, get really hungry and land in San Diego. Ok, get us off this plane and lets get somewhere to get our munchies on. Hmm, the seatbelt sign is off, but the flight attendants are not opening the door. What could be wrong, wait why is the jetway still 10 feet away. No way I'm letting Justin try and jump that with me on his back. Yeah apparently all the jetway drivers went home early or something stupid. Fifteen minutes later someone finally shows up and moves the jetway into position and we are free.

Such a nice view, boy was the sun nice that day

Well it was a fun trip. No complaints, but one request: next time we go through the Denver airport, can I ride in a litter. It was a little bumpy riding shotgun on the suitcase. Thanks.

Hi, I'm Quinn, pleased to meet you!

Hi, I’m Quinn, lucky number 7! I’m new to the Flock, too. I first met up with Beth in Minneapolis when she was doing an internship in summer 2007. Since then she moved back to Iowa City for her last semester of undergrad. My favorite hobby is traveling. In the two months since I was adopted, I’ve already been to Chicago and Madison and State College, Pennsylvania. Beth says if I’m good, she’ll take me to Purdue next weekend (I might be bad though because I didn’t really like Indiana when we drove through it last weekend). She really likes football - I really like tailgating, so while she’s at the game, I usually hang out by the cooler and grill.

My job is to watch Beth and make sure she graduates. After that, I’m just here for companionship, unless she decides to go to grad school. I kind of hope she doesn’t for three reasons 1)I want my job of “graduation motivator” to be over once and for all 2)I read D.J.’s post about the boob factory and feel a similar experience would be traumatizing and 3)If she get’s a real job, then she’ll have more money to take me on vacations. When I’m not busy trying to get Beth to study or planning my next adventure I can usually be found scrapbooking vacation pictures and/or watching movies. Beth’s trying to get me interested in quilting too, but I think that’s TOO girly for me. I realize scrapbooking in general is kinda girly, but I want my vacation photos to look good.

Uh oh, looks like Beth wants to take a nap, I’d better go and make her do something productive.

Get a job, little pischer...get a job.

I took the little pischer, Preston, to find a job recently. Before we could leave the apartment, I had to give the kiddo a lesson in how to put on a tie. (See the picture. I decided to wear one for good luck)

He wasted tons of gas driving all over town looking for “Help Wanted” signs. Finally, he found one at a restaurant that’s not too far from where we live. He left me in the car, which I was not happy about, but he was nice enough to roll down the windows since it was so hot that day.

He didn’t want to talk about the details that went on inside for the interview, but I took it as a good sign when the manager gave him a menu to take home and look over. I’m guessing he just sat around and schmoozed for a bit but I didn’t want to pry. I was just happy to have the air conditioning turned back on.

A few days later, I was yelling Mazal Tov for the little pischer. He got the job and now spends lots of time away from the apartment. But I don’t mind. I have lots of time to sit around and critique his movie collection now.

Save the Boobies

Even an anarchist knows a good idea when one passes by. The fabulous people at http://www.boobiethon.com/ have developed a wonderful idea on how to raise awareness about breast cancer and hopefully raise some money for research in the process. I was so moved by their idea that I decided to submit my breasts and special nipple ring to the cause. I tried to get Taylor to join in the cause but Taylor just mumbled some nonsense about inequities. Whatever, THAT sheep never wants to play or help out on anything.

I really hope they post my submission. You see they very wisely have a policy asking people not to use animals as props in their images. However, clearly I am not a prop, but a well intentioned supporter of the cause. Plus,I have a pretty nice rack, even if I'm not a ram.

So lets hope my submission is posted, otherwise there will be a price to pay. No one wants to see me when I mean business.

Update: Yeah they think I'm cute!! I've been allowed to slide and will appear on the site tomorrow morning. Check me out!! http://www.boobiethon.com/

Yee Haw! Franklin at your service.

Howdy y'all. I'm Franklin. Someone thought all these sheep needed a watchdog to protect the flock and keep 'em out of trouble, so here I am. A dog's gotta do what a dog's gotta do. I came to live with this feller named John in Iowa City. He feeds me, and lets me look yonder out the window for coyotes and other varmints that might be out to get the flock. I bark at 'em, but the neighbors don't like that much.

I grew up in the high plains. My momma taught me to mind my manners at the food bowl, keep my nose clean, and to always be nice to the ladies. People think I'm stupid because I talk kinda slow, but you'd be surprised… I catch on perdy quick.

When I'm not barkin' at the coyotes, eatin' chow, or pickin' guitar with John, I like to practice my ropin' skills. See, I wanna be a rodeo dog someday. I'm still a young pup, so I think I can get there. In the meantime, I'll watch over this loco flock. They are a pretty good group of sheep, it just kinda tough to figure out what in tarnation they're doing sometimes.

But heck, as my good old buddy Waylon Jennings used to say, "I may be crazy, but it keeps me from going insane."

Y'all ride safe now, ya here? I'm gonna get some shut eye... I hope the sheep don't get out!

Without our traditions our lives would be as shaky as, as... as a fiddler on the roof!

Shalom aleycham! I am Elliot, number 58 and I am one of the newest sheep on the flock. (I’m also the most kosher, if you catch my drift.) Now lets get to the goods, eh? Sit back and I’ll tell you a tale that rivals even that of Moses!

My story starts years ago in the old country. As the good book says, it ALL starts back in the old country. Fast forward a few millennia and you’ll see me all by my lonesome in New York City. I was such a little pischer back then. I didn’t know a thing. But lots of maz to me! I got a roommate who worked as a movie critic and I got to go see all the newest releases. But oy vey! What a mess it made my eyes! They’re all crooked now.

After a rough patch in my life, I ended up at Beth-Beth’s Sheep Adoption Home. It really wasn’t too bad though… I got to schmooz with some other sheep. We always picked fights with these cats that lived there. Luckily, I didn’t have to deal with the felines for too long. Along came this poor college kid one night to see Beth-Beth. This boychick, Preston, shleped me back to his place where I live now. He has a huge collection of movies that keep me occupied all day. And that’s really about it.

I’m going to go watch Tevye sing and dance about tradition. L'Chayim!

No sheep skin for you!

Hmmm…where did the other sheeps go? There are more than just us. No matter, Erin took me and Sheepy on a trip. So I will tell you about it. Jesse wanted to stay home and watch tv and color all day. Jesse is lazy. We got to see all of the University of Georgia. It was fun and really really hot. Apparently the day that we went was a special day for some students. They were getting there sheep skins. They wore black bathrobes and looked silly. I didn't get it, I didn't see any sheep skins. Erin said we didn’t need anymore sheep skins so we went and walked around where they throw the pig skin. Which is good because I didn't want to give up my skin. I like it.

Maybe we should have paid attention to the Caution sign and went home then.

We got our pictures taken by the stadium. I got confused because it said it was the Stanford stadium but we didn’t go to Stanford to visit. Erin said that we don’t need to try and understand how Georgian's name things. After all we were in Athens.

I'm confused. Where are we again?

Bingo! I found the G!

Then we got lost and Erin touched a dirty dog statue and got slimed. So we tried to find a bathroom so she could wash her hands. This was important because she was caring us. But when we got inside this weird building all the bathrooms were ripped out and laying in the hallway. Erin found some paper towels by the pop machine and used them. Then we looked for the way out. The directions on the wall seemed questionable so Erin just used her senses to get out.

Wait, what is an elevator for? I don't get it. Good thing Erin was around.

Then we went downtown and meet a bulldog. He was all dressed as a Roman. I tried to tell him that Rome was a different city in Georgia but he was not very talkative. We got our picture taken with him. We tired to look mean like him but I don’t think it worked.

Grr...don't mess with us!

Then we went and got ice cream and went inside. We never made it to the botanical gardens like Erin wanted. But she did let us play in the big flower arrangement at her cousin’s house.

That's okay, you can call me Flower if you want. I don't mind.

Then we went home and made sure Jesse didn’t break anything while we were gone.

NO! My bell. My turn!

My TURN!!!! Well it was my turn last time but Aerin is a skunk and budged. Hi, I’m Drew Jean, but everyone calls D.J. I’m the special ½. I came to the lab about the same time as Taylor did, but unlike that sheep I like to play. I love to play Chinese checkers with the labmates but sometimes I get in trouble. You see I love to gnaw on things because of my braces but then they get stuck on things. So I ruin some stuff. But I think that is what makes me fit so well in the lab.

I came to the lab to help the underling Mikey. He needed lots of help. But he scared me because he put me in a plastic bag and took me to the basement. He showed me where he made boobies. It was scary and I think Mikey needed to get out more. Meet some girls that had right boobs too. So Erin let me hang with her. She had issues too but graduate school issues. She wasn’t making boy parts in the basement.

Erin gave me a really supper gift. It was a bell. It was attached to a really pretty pink balloon. I love my bell, its rings loudly. But others don’t think it was as great. They stole my bell. Erin tried to wrestle it back but she didn’t get it. She tried though.

Erin took me to Georgia with Jesse and Sheepy. It is warm and there are lots of fires. But I didn’t do it! It wasn’t me. But then Erin got my bell back. And I play with it all day. I want to be a great soccer player when I grow up. I miss the other sheep. But we are internet savy because we watched the students in the lab so much. So when Erin is off working I play with my bell and talk to my sheep friends.

Okay, time to practice my banana kicks. Bing!!!

Hmm, Antichrist...That could be interesting

I wanna be anarchy !

No dogs buddy

Wow! I just love that song and as you all know it may just be the perfect anthem for my life. I just love how a song can tell your life story so simply. FRT music is so unbelievably liberating, unlike Justin whose always bringing things down. FYI I'm Aerin, number 3, and hold the wonderful distinction of joining the flock through the only proper means. All the rest of you are just pretenders. I joined the flock when Justin purchased his new mattress. The store owner warned me this was a weird one, and he couldn't have hit it more on. The store owner didn't even know half the story, didn't know I'd have to deal with that old fart Taylor and all those incessant philosophical ramblings (I've give you philosophy...right up your ass), that freak of a mutt Alex (what dog does C++), oh let's not forget Preston (hmm, probably shouldn't go there P911, you don't want to hear those stories anyhow).

So we've heard Taylor's version of life on the great condo along the yellow brick road. Yeah yeah, wrong state I know...I just really like flying monkeys and this is my story damn it, I'll tell it how it is. So here is the real 411 on life. I sit in the corner, crank up some good punk rock and wait for the world to end. Really what else is there to do in life. Oh I know I could listen to the pompous blow hard Taylor tell about some new discovery from the writings of Nietzsche, OMGYG2BK. Hey at least he doesn't mispronounce it like that buffoon in The History Boys, wonderful movie btw. Yeah well like I said, RME, give me my music and just leave me be. Oh but if you could, drop off some cookies or brownies before you leave.

SOT LY. Back to my music, can you guess which song?

Aerin

If I Have To!!

Well quite the shenanigans going on around here. It's a good thing I'm stepping in to bring a modicum of decorum back to this blog. Now for those boring but pertinent details I'm Taylor, #100, and reside in Iowa with Justin. As you may have noticed from my picture I'm an avid reader, I was a little perturbed to be bothered for the photo mind you but I tried to smile. Maybe if they give me permission I'll share some of my worldly thoughts and philosophies with you. It might be too grown up for this blog though, since philosophizing isn't exactly prowling.

So what is it that goes here, oh yeah my birth into the flock story. Well I don't know what those crazy homo sapiens had going through their minds, but I was quite happy back on the farm. Serta had finally developed some useful mattresses and put all us sheep out of work. Oh glorious day, I got to sit and read the great philosophers all day. Then one afternoon the caretaker came wandering my way and next thing I wake up on a metal table under some bright florescent lights. Boy did I think I was a goner, figured they were going to harvest my kidneys for the black market and leave me to die in a bathtub full of ice. Now to think, all I can do is dream for such fortunate circumstances. You see I woke up in their research lab; the most despicable of places. Under the guise of NASA funded research those brainless nitwits played Chinese checkers all day long. Ok, so maybe I'm a little harsh they did all graduate so they must have worked at some point, but as much wool as there was flying around that lab they could have just as easily pulled the wool over their advisor's eyes. Anyhow, I was quite petrified in the lab and more than happy to sit in my little corner on my pillow where it was clean and safe. No trips to exotic locals for me. DJ kept mumbling about some boob factory, but then again I never understood that poor thing.

Like I foreshadowed a large portion of the lab graduated and I was free. Well at least free to go home with Justin. He has a nice home, not sure I agree with the color choices but the green does help me feel at home sometimes. Even better it doesn't have cow patty spots, never understood how those creatures live with themselves. Back to the home life story, he even bought me a fun toy. This dog Alex, which is so fun to train. You should see how I taught him to play with Aerin, oooh even better was the time he played with DJ. We'll save that for another day. So yeah I find ways to amuse myself during the day, and occasionally break into the book shelves and find something to read. Its hard with all the smut magazines around here, but I manage to keep the mind nimble.

So my adventures or travels. Well so far I have talked my way out of most trips. Listen if you ever heard the stories about Justin's trips through the airports you wouldn't want to fly with him either. I don't care how much fun it is getting frisked. I hear in the near future we get to go to a cabin and hide away from society. Sounds glorious to me. I'll more than happily go along on that trip. In the mean time I'll try to forget those frightening stories of his travels and try to accompany him on a trip.

Well I'd say it again but really how many times can you hear it. Plus if you've really been reading this entry you know that I probably could care less. So have a good day and for gosh sakes read something informative. Hint, if its the news or about politics I bet its all lies.

Taylor

Cuddle Buddy

My turn! Okay, I'm Jesse number 44. And I currently live with Erin, Chris, and D.J. (who will be coming to the blog soon). I go by many nicknames but mainly Drooley. Despite popular belief I don't drool. Not even when you stick your fingers in my nose. Which I hate! I mean really, I wouldn't be able to live with Erin if I constantly had facial liquids seeping out. But I didn't always live with Erin. No I used to live in the lab. Now how did I get there…

Hmmm….well the story goes like this. I think. This is what I heard at least. If you read Chris' blog you will know that Erin went on a research trip. Unfortunately Erin was not the only one on these trips and she had to go several times. Sometimes at night she mumbles something about the stress and the horror. She really still won't tell me the story. I just know that I end up being slept on when those dreams come back. I can add from first hand experience that the lab was a stressful environment too (Back to the nose poking thing). So you get the idea, all this stress floating around and only one Chris holding therapy sessions, just not enough for all the graduate students. This is how I enter the picture. I brought the students back to their elementary years by providing a cuddle corner. I weigh in at 9 lbs and am 4 ft tall. Now don't get me wrong, but I'm not big boned...a hex on the next person who tries to imply such. I am fluffy and damn proud of it. So as you can imagine I was the perfect for lab students to cuddle with in the corner while rocking back in forth in the fetal position.

That's right they purchased me directly from the Serta website to be the cuddle buddy for any crazed grad student that needed to go to the corner. I even had my own office and door for a while. It's good that I was in the lab, from first hoof experience I found out that students cannot cuddle with each other. It just does not work out. The cuddling turns rather physically violent and usually involves wrestling for DJ's bell. Somehow the students managed to do this without their adviser ever walking in, especially when he was giving tours to the dean from competing schools. If that's not trauma enough for you, their other stress relief involved breaking down cubical walls...my office was so pretty and they just took it away. I'll spare you the horrors they subjected those plants to...its too gruesome for even Stephen King. So in the end was can all say it was wonderful that I came to the rescue.

I also pulled the night shift as lab watch sheep. My best accomplishment was scaring off the tours. Who thought an incessantly staring sheep would scare people so. I must share that information with my co-conspirators back on the "farm." My favorite part of the night shift was becoming great friends with the janitorial staff. I was so honored when Adam came to show me his snazzy new sneakers. Way to go bro! Best of all I got to rat on the students in the lab and tell the janitors who made all the messes...it was never me of course.

But alas the grad students eventually graduated. Well at least some of them. And Erin, who is by far the most deranged human I have ever met, took me with her to Georgia. She obviously needed me the most. O…I think I hear her now. Better fluff my tummy in preparation of getting squeezed. Thanks for reading. Talk to you later!

The Granddaddy...sorry Grandmaster

Welcome readers. I am proud to be the first sheep to introduce the blog to the world. I am very proud of my efforts in recruiting a complete therapy team that has successfully graduated 4 masters students in engineering. Hopefully these numbers will be added to as we have some underlings (is that what you call human children...I get bogged down in all their silly terms) still rising through the ranks. We may even get some higher degrees as a couple of our students can't learn when to say no and continue to further their education.

So what's my story you say...yeah yeah I'll get there, just hold on to your knickers

Well the most important detail of all, I'm number 15 and my complete name is Chris Mac. But you can call me Sheepy. None of the other sheep have graduated sufficiently in their therapy skills to earn a last name. As the narrator suggested the group consists of 1.5 sheep that were adopted through the standard mattress purchase program. Well I have the fortune of being the .5 of a sheep adopted in this manner. You see the homo sapien Chris Mac had a roommate that purchased a Serta mattress and was fortunate enough to adopt me in the process. I learned many wonderful therapy skills living with her, but once she graduated and moved onto the real world she thought she no longer needed me. Little did she know that she would be calling me late at night requesting my help...which of course I always talk her through her problems. (Sorry for those phone bills, I really shouldn't have blamed DJ for them should I have...I still contend that he's responsible for the 900 numbers though)

So my original adopter moves and gives me to her roommate Chris. Chris was getting ready to move as well and decides to have a yard sale. Chris wasn't always one of the brighter ones...he was trying to sell me after all...and planned his yard sale the same weekend as the great move out in their college town. So only one person came to the yard sale and purchased something. That person was Erin and in return for coming and buying, Chris gave her me as a gift.

You see this Erin was in desperate need of my services. In a total of 6 years she earned two bachelors degrees and a masters degree. Oh and talk about a temper...during some our less fruitful initial therapy sessions I often found myself hurled football style across the apartment towards the roommate. My butt still smarts from some of those impacts, but alas I love Erin. Things started to calm down and we were making therapy progress but then she had to travel for some silly research project. Erin left me to be sheep sat by her faithful research companion Justin. I have to eat and Erin was worried that her roommate would retaliate for all the times my butt came flying at her face. It seems that Justin is a little dense though and missed the memo. Instead I was sheep napped and spent a wondrous week with Jamie, who eventually came to join us in our research fun. During this week Jamie and I had a blast and she realized how much she needed a sheep like me. Which was great until Erin came back and I was almost torn into two. It was decided that I wasn't enough sheep for everyone's issues. They had a LOT of problems. This is how my therapy practice developed beyond myself and into its current (well still evolving) final form.

I still happy reside with Erin and the two other sheep in our immediate family. We have many fun adventures together. My favorite has always been flying. I don't know what it is about the experience but something about the wind beneath my wings just gets me soaring. Or maybe it's really getting frisked by the security guards; sometimes it's hard to tell the difference.

Once again I thank you for reading our blog. Please comment and enjoy our upcoming entries. Should you be a sheep and reading this, or other therapy animal (we try to be diverse after all), please send us your stories (sheep.4225sc@gmail.com). We will gladly add them to our blog or if you have a blog of your experiences we'll link to you. After all it's all about getting the homo sapiens through life, and we all know its no easy process.

The Loving Grandmaster Sheep,

Chris 'Sheepy' Mac

Welcome to the Prowling Sheep

Welcome to the Sheep Prowling Blog. You have haphazardly stumbled upon what is, or will be, a collection of stories about a flock of Serta sheep and their companions. Many of the entries will be posted by the individual sheep as they tell their harrowing tales of adventures throughout the wild blue yonder. Occasionally, the narrator will step in to clarify things as necessary. This being one such case. I pity the fool who reads a sheep entry without some background info.

The first issue we should probably address is just what will be on this blog, which corresponds with what is the significance of Prowling Sheep. Well as any sane sheep knows one can not be all work and no play. These sheep work very hard, but thankfully they also play equally hard. The Prowling Sheep Blog is a chronicling of their various trips and leisure activities.

So know that we've discussed the purpose behind the blog, what other questions do you have? I suspect at least some of you out there are wondering just how did these sheep all come together to form this flock. Which is closely followed by just how many mattresses do you folks own, and just what do you use them all for. As it plays out only 1.5 of the sheep were adopted through the conventional mattress purchase program, the .5 sheep will be explained during the relevant sheep introduction. The rest have been adopted via various methods, one even was brought to us in a bubble wrap uterus...bet you can't wait for that picture. So why all the sheep you ask. Well the story will become more clear as each sheep describes their individual characteristics, but in general the purpose of the sheep is to serve as therapists. Not only are sheep soft and cuddly, but they are quite adept at talking even the most crazed grad student off a ledge.

We (the adopters) are an interesting bunch and so we apologize for any oddities you find in the entries. One thing we have gone to great lengths to assure is that the sheep remain sexless. You see despite our vast backgrounds (medical school, growing up on farms) we have not been able to identify the sex of the sheep. They haven't produced babies for us, do not feel the need to relieve themselves, and in general seem to draw some pride in not revealing this detail to us. For this reason the sheep have all been given asexual names so we didn't have to worry about insulting them, we patiently await like you folks do to see if one of the sheep slips up in its narrative and reveals this information. Until then we will continue going to therapy to solve one of our many complexes. Hmm, wonder if there might be a conflict in interest there...our therapists are giving us complexes...we just might have to talk this one through with them.

Without further ado we shall commence on introducing the team of therapists to you all. I would name them all for you here, except the flock is currently under expansion. They are even looking for a "herding" dog to join the group. I can't really imagine what they expect it to herd, as none of these sheep would even dream of letting some inferior canine have control over their lives. At least they don't let us homo sapiens have any say in things. It should be an interesting story to hear just what role the dog will play within the flock. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, sheep and whatever else, we are pleased to introduce the flock...